In Denver, Colorado, a.k.a. the “Cradle of Legalization”, there’s no need to hide the smell of weed. Visitors note the fragrance of cannabis drifting from patios, parked cars, and city parks. It has become part of the fabric of the city. In fact, there are so many grow facilities along the I-70 highway between the airport and downtown Denver that the smell of weed is one of the first things people notice here.
Not all places are so fragrance-friendly.
In states where cannabis is still illegal, tokers need to figure out how to hide the smell of weed when they consume it. Even here in the sunny and legal Mile High City, sometimes it’s necessary to conceal cannabis smoke odors from kids, coworkers, or judgy roommates. Whatever your need for hiding the smell of weed may be, here are a few suggestions for getting high on the down-low.
Use a filter when you exhale. Here’s a college dorm room flashback for you. Remember the sploof? That’s what it’s called when you stuff a dryer sheet into a toilet paper tube and exhale through it. It gives the smoke a cozy, static-free freshness.
Nowadays, you don’t have to scrounge around for a cardboard tube and dryer sheet. Products like the GroovTube have done it all for you. Rather than default “laundry” fragrance, you can choose from scents like cinnamon, vanilla spice, peach, and lavender. Best of all, the minis are about the size of a cork and fit nicely into pockets and purses. Available online and at the My 420 Tours gift shop.
Another wonder of the post-prohibition era here in Colorado is all the smoke-free alternatives the legal marketplace has produced. When you walk into a Denver recreational dispensary, you’ll find not only jars and jars of bud but also a huge selection of smoke-free products. Edibles, of course, are the most discreet. But if you don’t like the way they hit, try vaping.
Once you’ve picked a battery and cartridge and learned how to use a vape pen, it will open up all sorts of possibilities about where you can get high on the down-low. As a Rolling Stone columnist recently wrote, “Unlike pipes or blunts, a weed vape pen creates virtually no smell. Suddenly, I could sneak a few hits in the bathroom during a concert or comedy show, or quietly get high in the back of a bar while the rest of my friends downed shots. I started carrying the thing with me everywhere I went.”
Another throwback way to hide the smell of weed is the old burnt popcorn trick. We all know that if you leave a bag of popcorn in the microwave until there’s way more than two seconds between each pop, then the burnt smell will take over the whole house and linger for days. After you puff puff pass, throw the Pop Secret in there for at least seven minutes. Accident? I think not.
However, “burnt popcorn” isn’t a runaway hit as a candle fragrance. For something a little easier on the nose, try an essential oils diffuser, incense (of the nag champa variety if you really love embracing cliches), or light about ten matches in a row. Then use one of them to light a candle that smells like something nice. Best scented candle of 2018? Check out the 2nd place winner Smell My Nuts.
Take it outside
Brave the elements, just like cigarette smokers do. This one is common sense for anyone looking for ways to hide the smell of weed, but it’s etiquette worth mentioning. Clean indoor air is something we can all get behind. At this point, the dangers of secondhand cigarette smoke are well-documented, and a worldwide wave of clean indoor air laws are forcing cigarette smokers outdoors and far away from buildings.
Why should cannabis smoke be treated any differently? While less is known about secondhand effects, and even though cannabis smoke doesn’t seem to stick around as long as cigarette smoke, cannabis smokers should show the same respect. Put on your parka, rain boots, bug spray, SPF 80 sunscreen, or whatever you need to survive the outdoor elements for ten minutes during your “safety meeting” (or whatever slang for weed-smoking the cool kids are using these days).
Control the airflow of your space. If you do choose to smoke indoors in the privacy of a home, make sure it’s well-ventilated. Step one: close the door of the room you’re in, and contain the smoke in that room by stuffing a rolled towel in any space between the bottom of the door and the floor. Step two: open all the windows you can possibly open, and turn on any fans to make sure the air is moving and not stagnant. Step three: hang out by the window as you exhale, encouraging the smoke to head outside.
If you want to take it to the next level and actually scrub the air clean, look into an activated charcoal air filter. This is the technology used in cannabis-friendly hotel rooms to make sure the air stays fresh for all guests. You’ll breathe easier knowing that everything from smoke particles to body odors and bacteria are being actively filtered out of the air.
Wash it off
Shampoo your hair and launder your clothes. Look, I’m not your mom, and I don’t know your life. So I dislike giving advice like “maintain good personal hygiene.” But again, it’s worth stating the obvious here. Smoke clings to soft and porous things like hair and clothing. Keep ‘em clean.
Immediately after a smoke sesh, though, there’s only so much showering and laundering you can do — especially if you’re in the great outdoors or out on a date night. So here are a few hacks to redeem this section of the article. On the go, spray your hair with dry shampoo, put outerwear clothing under the hand dryer or just shake it out for a few seconds, rinse out your mouth, and wash your hands. Then you can go in for a hug without smelling like a dirty stoner.
Stash it right
Store weed and accessories in an airtight container. Nothing says “gross weed smell” like leaving a half-smoked joint or half-smoked bowl laying around. Although spilling dirty bong water on the carpet is a close second. That’s called doing it wrong.
How to do it right? Find a dark, airtight container to store your nugs in, and keep your glassware clean and ash-free. Better yet, store everything an odor-blocking case like Stashlogix, with little compartments for all your cannabis products and accessories. It’s like the Caboodle of weed, and it even locks! It’s the kind of made-in-Colorado item that gives us a preview of the odor-free, stigma-free future of legal cannabis. The future is here — and it smells lovely.