Getting married is one of the most lovely things in life that can happen to a man, but unfortunately, if your wife-to-be gets a little too excited or you simply start getting cold feet, then it’s expected to start feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the pressure. However, before you start feeling all lost and start questioning yourself, here are some ways that will help you get through the wedding planning phase without losing your mind:
1. Remember why are you doing this
Let’s be real: you love your girlfriend and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, that’s a fact. There is a reason why you proposed, and that’s because you love her to bits. She is your soulmate and your rock, so the fact that she’s acting a bit out of hand, doesn’t mean that she’ll be that way for the rest of your life together. So, whenever you get too exhausted and everything starts to feel pointless, take some time off to be by yourself and get your thoughts in order. Remember why are you doing this — probably because you love her and want to be with her till death do you part. Finally, don’t forget that your wedding day is the first day for the rest of your life, and if your future wife seems a bit too excited, let her have fun, and if possible, try to share the joy with her, because after all, it’s your day and there’s nothing wrong with being excited and happy.
2. Make a plan and stick to it
If both of you are quick-tempered and prone to rash decisions, then making a plan will help you organize yourselves and prepare the wedding in the most efficient manner. Whether it’s a to-do list or something else that works for you, being organized will definitely help you get ready without resorting to fights and petty arguments. After all, you’re in this together and it’s only logical to plan your wedding together. Just because you don’t care about certain aspects of your wedding party, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be involved in making certain decisions. Having a plan will help you prioritize certain tasks and still have time to complete others without being in a hurry and worrying too much.
3. Stop complaining
Complaining is the biggest killer, just ask anybody. Same can be said about the weddings, the less you complain, the smoother the wedding preparation will be, no doubt about that. Try to understand that you and your fiancée have different standards regarding what’s important and what’s not, so if you really don’t care about the seating arrangement or who’s going to be her maid of honor, then it’s best to stay away from it all and try to take care of tasks that you find interesting and enjoyable to a degree. Instead of endless complaining, you can actually get yourself together and offer some genuine help. Complaining will only make things worse without doing you any favors in the long run.
4. Ask your fiancée for her opinion
She might seem like a pain in the neck, but before you start lashing out or even worse, badmouthing her to your friends, try to see eye to eye and have a calm and productive conversation with her. Maybe she’s worried about something and has issues with communicating it effectively? Or she’s equally tired and overwhelmed as you? Even if she seems impatient and obnoxious, don’t forget that she’s also excited and happy to get married. Women are told from an early age, that getting married is something to strive for, and they often get too confused and pressured when they actually start preparing for the wedding. That’s why it’s important to talk to her and see if there’s anything you can do to make her feel more relieved and relaxed.
5. Do only the things that you care about
Weddings can get stressful, especially if you’re a man, so instead of worrying about your future wife’s dress or floral arrangements, try to do your part of the job by accepting tasks that you’ll enjoy doing. If you consider yourself a foodie, then you can negotiate with restaurants or elaborate wedding menu for your guests will make you feel busy and useful. Basically, you can try to help plan the wedding by doing things you’re good at and that you care about. That way you’ll know what to focus on so you won’t have time to get too worked up about other stuff that you find insignificant such as wedding cake decorations or what the bridesmaids are going to wear.
6. Spend some time together
In case you’re too busy with planning a wedding, then it’s necessary to take some time off and spend it together, just the two of you. It’s important to go somewhere or do something that won’t involve talking about the wedding. You can treat yourselves to a luxurious spa treatment, or go to a romantic dinner, basically anything that will help you remember that you’re indeed right for each other. This can help you relax and get your mind off all the stress related to planning your wedding. Your fiancée will appreciate the fact that you’ve made an effort to ease her mind and make her feel more comfortable.
7. Be prepared for some difficulties
Wedding preparations can be smooth or can hit unexpected snags such as your cake not being ready on time, or your wedding band cancelling at the last minute. Therefore, it’s crucial to stay level-headed and always make sure to have a plan B in case something happens. If your girlfriend gets too upset, you will have enough mental strength to step in and help, without feeling too overwhelmed. Being prepared for difficulties on the way is a huge sign of maturity, so if you want to prove your fiancée (and yourself) that you’re ready, make sure to stay as calm as possible in almost every situation.
8. Learn to compromise
You probably know the whole drill — you say one thing, then she says something completely opposite, and before you know it, you’re in the middle of a fight. In order to avoid that, you must learn how to compromise, because when it comes to conflict resolution, the healthiest and best way to alleviate the issue is to find a middle ground that you both agree on. Similarly, if she blindly insists on something you don’t really care about, let her have it her way and instead focus on something you actually find important. That way, you’ll be able to dodge the potential catastrophe and endless bickering that won’t do you any good. Some might say that compromising is only for the weak, but when it comes to getting married and spending life together, learning to compromise will help you communicate and respect each others wishes.
9. Get busy with practicalities
When it comes to wedding planning, women often get carried away with picking the dress, the venue, the cake and designing wedding invitations that they often forget to take care of practical aspects of the wedding such as collecting paperwork or going to the courthouse to take care of everything (that doesn’t require your girlfriend’s immediate presence). This is a good chance to prove that you have all it takes to take care of important details, such as picking up your marriage license. Of course, consulting your girlfriend is an absolute must, but also, make sure to do be independent to a degree as it’ll make you feel more accomplished. In case you don’t like dealing with paperwork and other administrative tasks, you can ask a more experienced friend or relative to help you out.
10. Make sure you get your tux or suit on time
Honestly, most men aren’t that invested into fashion and style like women, and if you’re also one of these men (no big deal, though), then it’s recommended that you start searching on time. Whether you’re intending to buy or rent your wedding attire, you definitely need to be punctual and find the wedding clothes early enough so there’ll be time to do any eventual alterations. If you don’t consider yourself fashion-savvy, you can ask your girlfriend for some input, but make sure to clearly communicate your ideas so there won’t be any misunderstandings. Additionally, you can ask your best man to accompany you to the trip to the store and offer some valuable advice.
11. Create a music playlist
Wedding music is extremely important, especially the first dance song, so if you don’t have much to do, then choosing the right music will surely be the right task for you. But, don’t forget to take your girlfriend’s music taste into consideration, and of course, make sure to choose the music that will all the guests enjoy. Even if you see yourself as a metal head, remember that not every person shares your music tastes, so make sure to choose the songs that are catchy and upbeat so everyone will have a great time. When it comes to first dance song, remember to choose the track that means something to both of you, and if you can’t find anything in particular, there are many classic songs that are appropriate such as Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling In Love” or Whitney’s “I Will Always Love You”. Even though they may seem cheesy and overused, they’re still beautiful love songs, so if you have trouble finding the right song, one of these will surely be a good choice.
12. Get the rings on time
Getting married is no joke, so if you’re not interested in decorating the venue or picking the cake frosting, at least make sure that everything else is in order. You can ask your best man to go and choose the right wedding rings, but don’t forget to consult her when it comes to the design and size of the wedding ring. Also, make sure to do everything on time, in case you need to alter ring setting and size. You don’t want to come to the moment when you have to exchange vows and place a ring on her finger only to realize that the size is all wrong. That’s why you need to ensure that everything’s in order before the wedding day.
13. Finalize the guest list
Trimming down the guest list can be very difficult, but if you’re on a budget, it’s crucial to invite only those who truly matter to you both. If you haven’t seen someone in years, there’s no point in inviting them to your big day celebration. Same goes for your wife-to-be, so make sure to have an open discussion about who is going to show up. And in case your parents start insisting on inviting some long-distance relatives, politely remind them that you’re the one getting married and that choosing the guests is nobody else’s business, no matter what. Guest list should be finalized at least three months before the wedding, so you’ll be able to plan the seating arrangement and determine the food and drinks quantities.
14. Keep the budget in line
Planning the wedding can make you get carried away and spend more than you’ve originally planned, hence it’s extremely important to ensure that you have enough money to pay for everything without struggling. Before you decide to start laying out your money on your upcoming wedding, be sure to carefully plan everything so you won’t end up overspending or getting into debt. Luckily, there are many apps that can help you plan your expenses and manage your finances, especially if you’re preparing to spend a good portion of your earnings/savings on something meaningful, such as planning your own wedding.
15. Plan your honeymoon
Honeymoon is an important experience for all newlyweds, because essential, this is the first trip they’re taking as a married couple, therefore your honeymoon should be somewhere where you both enjoy being, and going on a honeymoon isn’t something only you or her should decide on. If you’re going abroad, make sure to arrange visas, passports and accommodation. Compromising is important, but so is making sure that you’re choosing the destination that you both love. Whether it’s enjoying the resort in Hawaii or cruising European capitals, it’s necessary to make the choice based on your mutual preferences, so you won’t spend your honeymoon bickering and waiting to go home.
16. Choose your best men wisely
Women take a lot of time to choose their bridesmaids, especially maid of honor, while men seemingly don’t come across as invested, which doesn’t mean that picking that friend to be your best man is something you should forego. Your best man should be the guy you rely on in all situations, and if you belong to a close-knit group of friends, and it’s difficult to pick that one person, make sure to sit them all together and have an honest conversation so you no one will feel overlooked or offended. It might seem difficult at first, but remember that you probably wouldn’t want to be ignored without the explanation. Your best man and groomsmen should be those you trust and get along with, so it’s especially important to choose people that you know you can count on.
17. Pick the venue on time
Choosing the right venue might seem a bit complicated, but always make sure to determine the guest list first so you’ll be able to find a venue that’s accommodating to everybody. There’s nothing more annoying than having a wedding reception in the venue that’s too big or too small. In case you’re not done with finalizing the guest list, it’s always better to pick the venue that’s bigger so everyone will have enough space to dance and have fun. Additionally, don’t forget to talk to the staff or venue owner so you can be sure that all your needs are met in advance. Similarly, try to choose the wedding that has a big parking lot and is close to the church or registrar’s office, because you don’t want your guests to drive long distances from location to location.
18. Arrange the accommodation for out-of-towners
Some of your guests will probably be out of town, and it’s only fair and expected to find them a place to stay after the wedding. If you don’t feel like (or can’t afford) paying for hotel, you can ask other guests and relatives to let them crash at their place for one night. Having a place to sleep is important for those who are coming from different cities, especially if they’re driving or using public transportation. Considering that some wedding parties can last until early morning hours, arranging a place for your guests will only help them feel welcome, appreciated and relaxed.
19. Take care of the invitations
Despite what you might think, wedding invitations do matter. There’s a certain etiquette when it comes to wedding invitations, such as listing the bride’s name first and being consistent regarding the choice of words. Also, make sure to include online RSVP’s, considering that most people are too busy to mail theirs or to call you directly, and in case you’re worried about elderly, make sure to leave your phone number, so they’ll be able to call you. And in case you feel crafty, you can create your own wedding invitations and send them to your guests. Originality is always appreciated and welcome.
20. Don’t forget your own appearance
Brides are usually those who panic about hair and makeup, but even you, as a groom, have to ensure that everything’s fine when it comes to your appearance. Make sure to book the hairdresser and also, don’t forget to go to the dentist so you’ll be able to have that perfect sparkling smile on your big day. Also, in case you’re suffering from certain skin conditions, remember to book a facial treatment, but don’t do it right before the wedding day, because then you won’t have enough time to recover and repeat the process if necessary. Also, try to cut down on cigarettes, coffee, wine and other drinks that can color your teeth, and try to get a whitening toothpaste or if you need to, treat yourself to teeth-whitening treatment.
21. Plan a bachelor party
There’s nothing more fun than saying goodbye to your old life by having a great bachelor party with your best friends. Whether you decide to hit the clubs or have a chill night, it’s always better to have some time off and have fun. Of course, getting married doesn’t mean you won’t be able to go out with your friends anymore, but still, a bachelor party can be a great gift for everyone involved. If your friends are taking care of it, don’t forget to tell them what you want, so you won’t end up in a seedy strip club or anywhere else where you don’t want to be. Additionally, organize your bachelor party at least two days before the wedding so you won’t be hungover and tired on your wedding day.
Getting married can be a truly beautiful experience if you treat it as such. Even if your fiancée is acting a bit strange, remember that she’s equally excited and worried, so make sure to give her some space, and don’t forget to help her plan everything. There’s no reason to feel anxious and indecisive, but even if you do, that’s perfectly normal. Don’t forget to talk to someone close to you who’ll be able to listen without judging. Finally, remember that planning your wedding is only the first step, and that being together with your wife, loving one another and being each other’s rock is the only thing that truly matters in life. So, try to give your best and help plan the wedding, but additionally, keep in mind that life after wedding is what really counts.